Wedding Bliss

This is my sister and her new husband.


I do believe that I have the most beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, blushing-bride sister in the world.


And my brother-in-law ain't a bad-lookin' dude, either.


Love you both! Congrautlations!

Well, at least you haven't done a face-plant in a urinal!

Think you're having a bad day?

Want to complain about it to anyone who will listen?

Because that's how I usually handle bad days.

But isn't that what family and friends are for? To be there for you, in the good times, the bad times, and all the other ones in-between?

My friend Grace* is one of those people I turn to whenever I need to vent about something. Vent, emotionally vomit, squeal with joy -- you name it, Grace has been there with me all the way. We especially like to lament to each other about stupid things that we honestly don't have any control over, but still like to complain about, just to feel like we aren't alone in the world.

One day a few weeks ago, I was writing an e-mail expressing my current discomfort in how busy I was, or something or other. Doesn't really matter, I guess. Point is, I was complaining about something honestly not that bad, but still felt that my voice needed to be heard. The response I got back from Grace was one I don't think I'll ever forget: her mom is a substitute teacher out in Boston. The day before, she was helping one of her students on to the bus, when all of a sudden, apparently he needed to....use the facilities. Being an elementry school, you can't just let students wander off on their own, especially after school hours. So Grace's disgrunted Mom (who just wanted to go home like the rest of us would, I'm sure) helped this little boy back to the restroom. Somehow, in the 3 minutes it would take to use the facilities, Grace's mom hears a wailing noise in the bathroom, and rushes in to investigate. Because how much harm can honestly come to a child in an elementry-school bathroom? When she enters the bathroom, she finds the little boy on the floor, with blood covering his face. It seems that somehow, whether he tripped or just wasn't paying attention (maybe a shiny object?), he managed to hit his face on the urinal. No details as to where his face landed on the urinal (I shudder at the thought), but that shiny piece of porcelin nonetheless. Which teaches me a very valuable perspective on life:

No matter what happens, at least you didn't do a face-plant in a urinal!




*Name has been changed to protect the innocent. Or just because I didn't ask if she would mind if I used her real name. Better safe than sorry, I always say

My Purse, My Suitcase

I’m generally a clean, fairly organized person. I make my bed every day, my sink is generally void of dirty dishes, my DVDs are neatly stacked, and the coffee grounds are washed out of the coffee maker every morning. In a normal world, this would indicate that nearly every aspect of my life is clean, organized, and void of clutter/junk-free.

Until you looked at my purse.

Now, I, like most other women, hate carrying a large bag, because the bigger it is, the more you can fit in it, and then logically, the heavier it is. How on God’s green, magnificent Earth I manage to get some of the stuff in there I haven’t a clue, but somehow it always does. And the sad thing is, I actually use most of these items, on a weekly, if not daily, basis. I can’t even imagine the horror that my purse is going to be once I have kids and a husband someday.

Here are a few things that I usually have in my purse at any given moment:

-- My wallet, weighted down with coins and old Fred Meyer and Target receipts (not to be confused with the random change and Fred Meyer and Target receipts wandering around the inside of my purse)
-- Bobby pins, taken out of my hair from the day before, because frankly I didn’t like that style anymore.
-- A padlock, to be kept on my locker at the gym. It would never occur to me to leave it at the gym. That would just be too logical.
-- Earrings, worn the day, week, or month before that I have worn sometime in the recent past, that usually I spend about 10 minutes looking for the day I want to wear them, only to realize that I left them in a purse, gym bag, my car, etc.
-- A wide variety of Trident or Orbit gum wrappers, some with old gum inside them (like you don’t have that in your purse or random pocket, either?)
-- My camera. You never know when you’re going to come across the perfect sunset, the perfect pair of shoes you need some helpful input on, or a fender-bender in need of some concrete documentation.
-- Sunglasses. I’m forever squinting in the sunlight….or even when it’s not that bright outside.
-- iPod. Because nowadays, it’s just what you do.
-- Flash drive. It’s come in handy fairly often. Most recently to transfer my copy of Midnight Sun onto my computer from my old job.
-- Lip gloss. You name it, I got it. My current favorite is my old standby of Vanilla-Mint Chapstick, closely followed by Bath&BodyWorks’ Vanilla Soda Fountain lip shine. It’s sticky, but it works like a dream. You can bet it’ll be present at my sister’s wedding on Saturday.

Ten years (or more) down the road, I’m sure that I’ll hear the phrase, “Mom, your purse is HEAVY!!!” and be brought back to those young years when I said the same thing to my mom. Who, I’m still convinced, insisted on packing along bricks in her purse for whatever shopping trip we were on. Because you just never know when something like that will come in handy.

Random Thoughts

Right now, there are exactly 3 people in my office. I'm one of those three. The other two are on their phones, and my phone doesn't ring. There's no work for me to do. Which leads me to let my mind wander onto more pressing, important thoughts and ponderisms which I'm so generously going to share. Because honestly, I have nothing better to do:

1) T minus 5 days until my sister's wedding. And I still haven't written my MOH toast (see previous post -- no rhyme-pun intended). I just don't FEEL like writing it! Oh, I've thought about it for a while over the past few weeks or so, and I now have a vague outline as to what I want to say, but when it comes to actually putting it down on paper and then practicing it so that I don't mispronounce something or sound like an idiot? I don't waaaannnnnnnnna.

2) To go down to the cafeteria and get a granola bar, or not to get a granola bar -- that is the question.

3) I have a blister on the pinky toe of my right foot, due to marching 16 blocks and back to the library during my lunch break. For a 32-block treck in 25 minutes in 3-in. heels, that ain't bad.
And that blister kinda hurts. And I've looked at Target for those cute little discreet footie nylons that other people wear in their heeled shoes, but guess what? Due to my lovely genetics, they don't make them in my size. And supposedly their "One Size Fits All!" approach hasn't seen the likes of my feet, because they should know that a size 11.5 foot doesn't exactly fall in the same category as the size 6 foot.

4) I'm having a very important internal debate (almost as important as the granola bar question, which I still haven't decided on): where do I take K to get her nails done? I don't want to be a cheapskate, but jeez, I'm not made of money, either! But then it comes down to the argument of "You should be willing to do anything for your sister!" and the argument of "You aren't made of money!!!" Sheesh. Plus, did you know that if you Google "Portland nail salons," it'll spit about 300 results at you? Try narrowing that down.

5) I keep thinking of things I'd rather be doing if I weren't here at work: like trying out one of the bazillion recipes that I've found. Of course, that's assuming that I have the money to buy all the necessary items, have the time to cook them, and have the extra room on my hips to allow for the fat and calories that would undoubtably take up residence after I ate said recipes.

6) I would really like to take a photography class. I don't have the world's best $1,000 camera, but the one I have isn't half bad, and I'd really like to take pictures like The Pioneer Woman (www.thepioneerwoman.com). Of course, I'd need the $1,000 camera, a few cattle and a hunky cowboy or two to complete the picture. But let's start small, shall we?

7) I can't wait until we get wedding pictures back so that I can see how beautiful my sister is going to look. But then I guess we'd better have the wedding first, right?


I'm breaking down -- going to get that granola bar.

Wait, I have to do WHAT?!

My sister is getting married in 3 weeks and 1 day. That fact alone sends a chill down my spine. I mean, it's not a bad thing that she's getting married, but just the fact that it's my sister -- the girl that I used to play dress-up with and who still dances around her house singing Mandy Moore songs with a wooden-spoon microphone. Good thing John likes aaalllllll kinds of music.

We had the bridal showers last week and the week before that. Now, I love my sister dearly, but goodness gracious, throwing a shower is a lot of work! Plus we drove down to Klamath for one a few weeks ago, which takes up an entire weekend. If there's one thing that all of this madness has taught me, is that now I know I want a small wedding. Keep it nice and simple. Means we can spend more money on the ring, right? Or at least go on a kick-butt honeymoon. But at least I've already warned K that she's planning my wedding, so maybe it won't be as bad. Not that I have any reason to worry about that right now....or anytime in the near future.

But anyways. Along with all the last-minute preparations, the organizing, the planning, the scheduling, the crunch-time workouts at the gym to lose those extra pounds you meant to lose 2 months ago, I realized something. I have to give a speech. As MOH (Maid of Honor), I've know this for a while -- just like I knew I'd be there for K with all her pre-wedding jitters and panic attacks, but it was always something that would happen eventually; there was no need to worry about it right now. But now I'm realizing, I have 3 weeks and 1 day to come up with a speech. A good speech. One that shows I'm a compassionate person who loves my sister and new brother-in-law and who is making the whole room dabb sentimental tears from their eyes. At the same time, it needs to be a speech that is making people laugh through those tears at my wonderful whit and charm. K wants it funny, Mom wants it sentimental...I'm just hoping that I'm not standing up there breathing into the microphone like some creeper hearing nothing by my own mental screaming and crickets in the ballroom.

I can see it now...

"This is a very special day for all of us, to be able to witness the wonderful union of two people we all love and cherish..."
--Nah, too preacher-sounding. Plus I'm sure that before the sentence was even finished people would already be nodding off to sleep.

"So, we never thought that this day would EVER come!"
--I think I'd get murderous glances from K and J for this one...not to mention how cheesy it sounds.

"Well, I guess that I'll have to change my perspective on internet dating...."
--Oh goodness, this is just going down-freaking-hill FAST.

I'm not that bad at public speaking -- I'm really not. I gave the toast as MOH at my best friend's wedding, and that went just fine. But this is my sister. Gotta make it special.

Hopefully it'll end up being memorable in a good way!

My Stainless Steel Security Blanket (aka my Thermos)

I rely quite heavily on my Thermos. And it’s not just any, run-of-the-mill thermos, or one that you pick up on the clearance rack at K-Mart. Oh no, this baby is one fine quality piece of work. My mom gave it to me the Christmas before my Freshman year of college, and was so excited about it – she even got my name engraved on it. At the time, I didn’t really see the point. I didn’t drink coffee, I rarely drank cocoa, and honestly, who eats soup out of a thermos anymore? Eespecially when I could just go to the school cafeteria and get some there? I thanked her for it, and then used it maybe once my freshman year.
Then I went to Europe, and my whole Thermos-using perspective changed.
In Europe, I was living on little sleep, and everyone drinks coffee. I quickly learned that over there, a Diet Coke (excuse me, Coke Light) just wasn’t gonna cut it. I was already used to drinking sugary coffee drinks like Mocha’s and Frapaccino’s, but black coffee? Fuhgetaboutit. But when you’re in a strange country, staying at a hostel for 16 Euros/night, and the free breakfast they serve is a croissant and a cup of espresso, it’s amazing what you can choke down. And you know, to my utter amazement, I learned to love coffee. Not just love, but have a strong dependency on. Others have learned to recognize my dependency, too. Whenever I go home to visit, my lovely mother makes sure that there is a bottle of Sugar-Free French Vanilla Coffee Mate in the fridge and ready to go for when I stumble into the kitchen in the mornings.
Over the past 2 years, I’ve reached a minimum amount of coffee that I need to have in a day (or a certain amount of caffeine) in order to remain headache-free. I have it measured out perfectly. One large travel mug of coffee, and one Thermos full of coffee, which gives me about an additional travelmug and a half. I don’t like making coffee at work, and I refuse to pay the $3 – something per day to buy a coffee, so that Thermos remains vital to the outcome of my day. I get a sort of relaxing satisfaction when I go to open my Thermos, hear the popping of the leak-proof seal, and see that wonderful little stream of steam billowing out of the opening. I pour it into my mug, knowing that it’s just as hot as when I pulled it off the coffee maker two hours before. And as I sit with my travel mug in my hands, and my Thermos down by my feet, I am content with the knowledge that my caffeine intake has been fulfilled for the day, and that the sun will shine a little brighter for the rest of the day.
Not that I can see that shining sun – my office is windowless. But I know it’s there!

Wow, It's been a while

Through my new job at a distribution warehouse, I’m learning things that I never thought would enter my arsenal of bread/chip/cookie/coffee-related knowledge. Like did you know that Easter officially starts the busy season for hot dog and hamburger buns? Neither did I, until a few weeks ago. However, this date depends on the weather, which as we know in Oregon, is as varied as….well, as varied as Oregon weather. Last weekend was the first sunny weekend of the year, with temperatures reaching the low-70s. Which means that everyone decided that it was the perfect opportunity to have a BBQ to celebrate the glorious weather. Therefore, on Monday, our office was swamped with stores scrambling to restock their hamburger and hotdog bun supplies. Today being the Monday after Easter, we expected the same thing. However, I’m discovering that it’s quiet. Too quiet. The kind of quiet where it’s the calm before the storm, and in two weeks, you’re going to look back on this time with fondness, and annoyance that you didn’t appreciate the down/quiet time while you had it. Which may explain the thunder storms in the weather forecast...

Ahhh, the joys of the working world.