Wait, I have to do WHAT?!

My sister is getting married in 3 weeks and 1 day. That fact alone sends a chill down my spine. I mean, it's not a bad thing that she's getting married, but just the fact that it's my sister -- the girl that I used to play dress-up with and who still dances around her house singing Mandy Moore songs with a wooden-spoon microphone. Good thing John likes aaalllllll kinds of music.

We had the bridal showers last week and the week before that. Now, I love my sister dearly, but goodness gracious, throwing a shower is a lot of work! Plus we drove down to Klamath for one a few weeks ago, which takes up an entire weekend. If there's one thing that all of this madness has taught me, is that now I know I want a small wedding. Keep it nice and simple. Means we can spend more money on the ring, right? Or at least go on a kick-butt honeymoon. But at least I've already warned K that she's planning my wedding, so maybe it won't be as bad. Not that I have any reason to worry about that right now....or anytime in the near future.

But anyways. Along with all the last-minute preparations, the organizing, the planning, the scheduling, the crunch-time workouts at the gym to lose those extra pounds you meant to lose 2 months ago, I realized something. I have to give a speech. As MOH (Maid of Honor), I've know this for a while -- just like I knew I'd be there for K with all her pre-wedding jitters and panic attacks, but it was always something that would happen eventually; there was no need to worry about it right now. But now I'm realizing, I have 3 weeks and 1 day to come up with a speech. A good speech. One that shows I'm a compassionate person who loves my sister and new brother-in-law and who is making the whole room dabb sentimental tears from their eyes. At the same time, it needs to be a speech that is making people laugh through those tears at my wonderful whit and charm. K wants it funny, Mom wants it sentimental...I'm just hoping that I'm not standing up there breathing into the microphone like some creeper hearing nothing by my own mental screaming and crickets in the ballroom.

I can see it now...

"This is a very special day for all of us, to be able to witness the wonderful union of two people we all love and cherish..."
--Nah, too preacher-sounding. Plus I'm sure that before the sentence was even finished people would already be nodding off to sleep.

"So, we never thought that this day would EVER come!"
--I think I'd get murderous glances from K and J for this one...not to mention how cheesy it sounds.

"Well, I guess that I'll have to change my perspective on internet dating...."
--Oh goodness, this is just going down-freaking-hill FAST.

I'm not that bad at public speaking -- I'm really not. I gave the toast as MOH at my best friend's wedding, and that went just fine. But this is my sister. Gotta make it special.

Hopefully it'll end up being memorable in a good way!