I'm lookin' for some change.
Which is odd, because normally I'm the person who sticks with tradition. If the world ran things according to my comfort zone, we would still be using the old 5, 10, and 20-dollar bills, the nation never would have switched to this digital TV thing (thus rendering my favorite old bunny ear antena useless), and Facebook would have stayed with it's original design and layout.
(We'd probably still be under the rule of England, too, but let's look at the smaller picture.)
In short, being stubborn and a fan of routine rarely allows me to leave my comfort zone.
I can't believe I've been out of college for almost 2 years now. That makes me something that the rest of the world considers an adult, but I'm still stumbling around wondering how I went from a carefree college student worrying about finals and which dance club we would frequent that weekend, to this person whose conversations with friends now include terms like "mortgage," "bills," and "interest rates." -shudder-
Basically, I'm now this boring adult who bases decisions what is considered the responsible action, rather than doing things for myself, at the spur of the moment, or out of pure stupidity or ignorance or simple carefree bliss.
But isn't that what being in your 20s is about? Doing things because you can blame them on the decade of your life where you're allowed to blame it on your age, and people will simply nod their heads, understand, and then tell a story about their own decade of stupidity? I have at least 7 more years before I really need to think about getting a car that will accomodate a dog, carseat, and at least 4 other soccer team children, rather than getting the Jeep I'd truly love and enjoy. I have at least 5 more years before I need to consider which kind of washer/dryer combo would work best at each price point. And I have at least 2 more months to go out and enjoy my sunshine-filled weekends before summer is officially over and I go back to the doom and gloom of a Portland winter.
The pure pressure of it all can be so daunting at times! Knowing what I should be doing as a responsible adult, and then knowing what I truly want to do, simply because I can. I'm not tied down in any way except for my job and a few family obligations, so isn't now the time to take the time to just go somewhere? Take a trip, take chances, and enjoy the simple thrill of it all?
I'm trying to step outside my confining bonds and think about what else I can do in and with my life before it's too late. I'm thinking either dying my hair blonde or researching an internship position in London. I've always wondered how I'd look with blonde hair, and I've been dreaming about living in London since I was 6 (I think it stems from wanting to live in a land where princesses actually exist!). The little voice in the back of my head is telling me to save my hair folicles and keep my hair at its dark brown mahogany color, but I was blonde as a kid, so why not again now? Another little voice is telling me to save my money for a house I'd like to buy someday, invest the money into my retirement, or just put it in a rainy day fund.
But living in Portland, I've learned that sometimes, you have to accept the fact that today might be your rainy day.
Training moves to the trail.
7 years ago
