Directions: Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Let's just say that when it comes to me and math....it's like trying to force two opposite magnets together. Math and I DO NOT. GET. ALONG. Like mixing oil and water, fire and ice, or Britney Spears and modesty, some things in this life are just never meant to be together.

Needless to say, during college, my worst grades came from my math classes. The only way I got through Business Calculus, Finite Math, Statistics, Finance, and my Accounting classes was by sitting next to my good friend CD who took pity on me, and was basically my math tutor during my entire college career.

Bless his generocity, patience, and pity. I seriously don't know how he put up with me.

Anyways. That little bit of background info was necessary for the story I'm about to share.

Even though my math classes brought me nothing but pain and sadness during my time in college, I was fortunate enough to have a couple great teachers. Great teachers who knew that the subject they were teaching wasn't the most thrilling topic in the world, so they'd throw in a few personal stories to liven up the class. One of these such teachers was Dr. L.

My favorite story from Dr. L takes us back to his home state of Kentucky. Dr. L grew up in the lovely bluegrass state, but moved out to Oregon later in life. Well, unfortunately, a few years ago, Dr. L had to return home to attend his mother's funeral. Well, funerals, weddings, and births are all basically one big reunion -- you see people you haven't seen in years, and it's a "great" time to reminice about years past, catch up, and make false promises to get together "soon." After the funeral, Dr. L attended the memorial dinner, where he saw people he hadn't seen since his youth. A few times, someone would walk up to him and ask, "Do you remember me?" And, with a touch of regret, he'd answer, "You know, I know that I should know who you are, but since it's been about 20 years, unfortunately I don't. Would you mind just reminding me?" Through this routine, he was able to catch up with his old piano teacher, a coach from high school, and some long-lost friends he hadn't talked to in years.

Later on in the afternoon, a woman walked up and tapped him on the shoulder. As he turned around, she smiled at him and asked, "You don't remember me, do you?" So Dr. L went into his (now well-used) schpeal about how he knew that he should recognize or remember her, but unfortunately it's been a while, could she refresh his memory?

At this point, Dr. L. paused and looked around the classroom, and said 5 chilling words:

"It was my first wife."

The room erupted in laughter as Dr. L. blushed and got a sheepish look on his face. "It had been 20 years!" he yelled, "People's looks change in that amount of time!"

Just one of those moments where you wish floor would open up and swallow you whole, don't you agree?